Pregnancy and Infant Loss

The Fear, Joy, Sacrifice and Heartbreak of Baby Loss

The Fear Back in 2016, I had a miscarriage at 15 weeks +3 days. I was so heartbroken that I was afraid to even get pregnant again because I felt that the same thing would have happened again. I stayed as far away from pregnancy as I could, but I knew I had to get… Continue reading The Fear, Joy, Sacrifice and Heartbreak of Baby Loss

Pregnancy and Infant Loss


Dads grieve too!


Being a Rock in a Hard Place

Grief is hard! Really. Bloody. Hard.

The sad reality is that everybody is grieving for something, whether it is the loss of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, perhaps the last season of Game of Thrones didn’t turn out the way they had hoped. Regardless, grief is something we have all been through in some form or another. Of course, there are times in life when that loss is significantly greater than others.

My first REAL dance with grief happened in 2013 when my brother passed away on Christmas morning, following the diagnosis of a brain tumour just three months prior. The cancer did not only take my brother, it took away a beloved husband, son and father to two young children. The entire community felt our loss. We have some strange traditions in Ireland, not least the tradition of having…

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Coping, Faith, Grieving, Pregnancy and Infant Loss

God understands our grief

Being a believer, my faith has been rocky since September 6. Bombarded with statements such as "God knows best" or "Everything happens for a reason" really sent me over the edge. As time passes by, the Word is showing me that God understands. He had to watch His only son die so that a greater… Continue reading God understands our grief

Pregnancy and Infant Loss

Tracy’s story- The miracle we waited for

After struggling for years to get pregnant due to PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome), it finally happened. In July, 2012, my partner and I found out we were expecting a child and my due date was March 17, 2013. The pregnancy was a wonderful experience, everything was going smoothly and we found out we were having… Continue reading Tracy’s story- The miracle we waited for

Pregnancy and Infant Loss

The Fear (And Joy) Of Seeing A Positive Pregnancy Test After Losing A Baby

Experiencing a baby loss has taught me that there’s no safe zone in pregnancy. Passing 12 weeks or 20 weeks doesn’t mean you’ll go home with your baby. That’s the painful reality that loss parents are faced with

An Unexpected Family Outing

My struggle has never lied in getting pregnant.

My struggle is keeping babies.

I’ve been pregnant 4 times and I’ve only brought one baby home.

I know that there are women who have never seen a positive test, or women who have yet to bring home a live baby. There are women who will never see that dream come true. But I can only speak to my experience.

My experience is that I can get pregnant, and more often than not, I lose the baby.

By the time I saw my fourth positive test, I was feeling jaded. A positive on a pregnancy test was supposed to signal some kind of certainty. But when the plus sign appeared, I felt more scared than excited. There was joy, but there was also fear–and a lot of it.

Losing three babies made that plus sign look more like a question mark.


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